Although where I lived was basically a trick-or-treat-proof loft building, a visit out of Manhattan revealed the extent to which Americans go in order to get into the spirit of things.
I've never seen so much fake-cobwebbing in my life and the pumpkin-carving can get seriously competitive.
When it's imported here, though, Halloween's a poorly translated pain in the arse.
Last year, our dickhead neighbour kids, who had until then not uttered a word to us, knocked on the door and cheerfully demanded confectionery.
I noticed one of them was holding a bucket – nothing if not optimistic – but only the five-year-old had bothered to make any effort, costume-wise. (Of course the teenage daughter could very well have been going for "trailer-trash-jailbait", in which case she did a commendable job.)
The urge to tell them to go you-know-what was very hard to resist but all I could do was deliver a half-hearted "sorry" and shut the door.
We spent the rest of the evening with the lights off.
I've noticed more Halloween crap on TV this year so I suspect Mick and I will spend the evening in the dark again, pretending not to be home.
Having said all that, there has been some amazing pumpkin art popping up all over the internet.
For sheer cuteness value, I think this is my favourite:
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